God reads your bucket list

Source: http://manifestationyoga.com/2011/12/03/bucket-list/

I always encourage people to have a bucket list. It serves as a guide on the things they should and should not invest. If owning car is not included in your bucket list, then why save to buy one? If you have no dream of becoming a manager in the corporate world, why work more than what is required? If learning how to paint is included in your bucket list, why not put some time and money for an art workshop? If you want to have your business, then take time to read and research. You see,  a bucket list can simplify life. At the same time, it pushes you to achieve what you want. Perhaps, when something is written, it becomes permanent. And when it’s permanent, you always remember your small goals. For the purpose of discussing the importance of bucket list, let me share you some I have accomplished in my bucket list and forgive me for bragging.

Let me share you some included in my bucket list:

To lose weight

I was a chubby girl when I was in high school. I was really fat not ‘feeling fat.’ Every school year, I wrote in my diary, “need to lose weight.” Like most girls, I just wanted to improve my appearance. I started losing weight without diet and exercise when I was in college. But I realized weight cannot make you beautiful or in my own words ‘sellable.’ I lost a few pounds but there was no increase or decrease of people who like and dislike me.

To get published

I wrote this in my bucket list when I was in college and brought it to life when I already had my first job. It did happen but I had to be robbed. I had to have a traumatic experience to come up something worth publishing.

To graduate with honors

When we were all kids, we probably wanted to graduate with honors.  I wasn’t an A plus student. There were only two periods in my life that I graduated with honors, my first school year  and my last school year. I did ask God for it but I did not include in my prayer that I wanted to graduate on time. I almost did not graduate college because of my thesis. But thank God for the miracle.

To perform in theater

When I talk to myself, I also talk to God. It’s like talking two people at the same time. I said, “God, I want to perform in theater even if I don’t have a talent fee, even if I’m just part of a chorus.”  Then, God gave exactly what I requested. I joined the cast of a non profit theater as an ensemble member. It was a wonderful experience but it was not a eureka moment for me as what I expected.

These are some of the few things  that could not have happened if I did not have a bucket list. Of course, I have a lot in my list that have failed. I did not pass the entrance exam for Masters Degree in Creative Writing. I don’t have my dream job. My goal last year was to read 40 books but I only read 19.  And the list goes on.

A bucket list is helpful. It gives some sense of fulfillment. As I look back some of the things I wrote, I thought  achieving one by one, I could be happy and die with contentment. But there’s so much unwritten truth sealed in every wish. As what they say, “Be careful what you wish for.” A wish fulfilled gratifies you but it does not necessarily complete you, as what I wrote: Dreams change as you grow old. Your fantasies when you were younger no longer apply. Reality bites and you need to make a detour. But sometimes reality is more beautiful than a dream or perhaps the reality I created in my head is far more beautiful. I never wrote in my bucket list that I wanted an easy life. Sometimes the things I wished for are the things that brought me stress, tears, and frustration. If there’s one thing I learn from keeping a bucket list, it makes me  realize that I still have control over my life.  Happiness is not confined in a  list but freedom means everything.  And freedom is  a gift from God.   God let us have what we want even if we don’t deserve it and even if we don’t need it. He just wants to satisfy us and tell us, “You thought you know what’s best for you. But wait, I have better plans for you.”

Part of My World

One of my favorite hobbies is daydreaming. Sometimes I’m trapped with my own world, that I am shocked when someone calls me out of nowhere. The world in me is so beautiful that I’d rather live there than be on the real world. The things I do every day, the plans I have for my future are for my physical self but my mind, my heart is somewhere else. It is easy for me to fake happiness or to lament on nothing. For me, my reality is fiction and the reality we know is superficial. Okay, I sound creepy.

My favorite hobby led me to a long list of impossible wishes. Here are some things I wish I  could do if there were no boundaries in this world we live.

I wish I could perform on a train

Every time I ride a train, I keep wishing that I can sing loud especially, when I’m suffering from last long syndrome. The lyrics are on the tip of my tongue. I wish I can throw them out. I want to wear a 40s dress and move from one side to the other side of the train. The scene flashes on my head like an old musical movie or something that appeared like Broadway. The closest thing I have done is to do pole dancing on the train. I have no intention of doing pole dancing in the train. But my friends who witnessed and were embarrassed at my presence said so. I just glide around the train’s pole except that my hair swayed and it was gracefully executed. (lol)

I wish I could do storytelling in a bookstore

 

I got this idea from my Oral Interpretation class in college. My teacher said that  for our finals, we could do something like her students of Interpretation of Children Literature did. They performed in National Book Store. I really like the ambiance of specialty bookstore. It’s quiet. It gives you moment to contemplate and to relax. I thought a bookstore would be a nice place for performance. Take note: I don’t just want to read a book in front of the kids. I want performance level. (hehe) I want to wear a costume and do some little effects. I am always fascinated with costumes and masks. I wear my tutu skirt even if people stare at me and ask me, “What are you wearing?”

I wish I could make a storyboard

Source: http://www.designcouncil.org.uk

Before I dreamed of becoming a rock star and pursued so many absurd dreams, I wanted to be an artist. I mean a visual artist, one who draws and colors. In grade school, I was never elected nor nominated as one of the class officers. Eventually I became a class officer, as the class artist because I was the favorite of my English teacher (Art = English?) I think I joined a poster making contest. I think I landed third place (Yah, I know I’m bragging). The little things I did in grade school made me dream to work on Walt Disney. I wanted to work behind the scenes of Disney films. I wanted to be one of those guys who was responsible for the film’s storyboard. But as I grew up, that dream died out. When I was in high school, I felt I lacked talent and practice to pursue it. My childhood ambition to take Fine Arts in college remained in my childhood. How could I possibly survive the course when I could not make an origami or draw a straight line? But my hope of making a storyboard is still there. Besides it’s not a drawing board, it’s a storyboard.

I wish I could meet life-changing strangers

From the movie Eat Pray Love

I find this funny because it’s one way or the other of telling you want to find true love somewhere. No matter how hermit-like I am, I love people. Even if it’s so hard to socialize and to agree upon something, I still like to meet new people. Meeting people widens your perspective in life. I gain wisdom as I meet new people. As I travel from different parts of the country, I met strangers who were quite unforgettable. It makes me happy to know that a stranger shares a few bits of his life with me. There was one I met on the barge going from Visayas to Mindanao. He was from a seminary. The funny thing about him is he did everything I asked him to do. He sang. He delivered a declamation piece. He showed a picture of his girlfriend. When I was 11 years old, I was strolling around the park with my three-year old nephew, I met a man. He talked about his family. He was separated with his wife and son. He showed me a picture of his son. He told me his son was about my age. These rare occasions warm my heart knowing that you lend them your ear and in return, they share you stories.

These are the thoughts running in my head in moments when someone tells me, “Jacklyn, may sarili kang mundo”(You have your own world.)