Don’t Go Crying to Your Mama

Ain’t it fun livin’ in the real world
Ain’t it good bein’ all alone

Ain’t it good to be on your own?
Ain’t it fun you can’t count on no one?
Ain’t it good to be on your own?
Ain’t it fun you can’t count on no one?

-Paramore, Ain’t It Fun

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I felt like I was listening to the soundtrack of my life as I played Paramore’s latest song, Ain’t It Fun. I’ve been living all alone for a long time. I have had room mates, board mates, dorm mates but basically I take charge in everything I do, spend, and buy.

When I first told my office mates that I was on my own, they were surprised and curious how I managed to survive. I did not find my life unique or challenging as it appeared to them. When I was in college, I lived in a dormitory where most of us came from different provinces. The surprised look I got from my office mates reflects how much we Filipinos like to cling to our families.  Hence, we have a lot of extended families. Unlike other countries where young professionals would want to have a house or rent a space away from their parents, we, Filipinos, most of the time prefer to be with our families. I do miss the comfort of home and if I have a choice, I want to live with my family but there is such fulfillment on being able to have independence. It opens opportunity for growth and strengthens character (chos! :D). Hence, if you are twenty-something, you might try to spread your wings and fly.

You learn to meet your needs and wants.
When you want something so bad, you will find a way to achieve it.

You learn to solve your own problems.

So what are you gonna do when the world don’t orbit around you? (Paramore)
This is the kind of questions you try to answer
No one will think for you.

You learn to nurse yourself
I used to cry a lot over a lot of things when I was a kid. As I grow old, I cry less or choose the things I cry for. I have gone through many heartaches and the only thing I had is a phone. It’s hard to have problems when you’re on your own. For one reason, you have more time for yourself. Hence, you have more room to entertain depression. As what Paramore said in their song: “It’s so easy to ignore trouble when you are living in a bubble.”

You appreciate solitude
You have a lot of personal space for you to reflect and evaluate the choices and events that take place in your life.

You learn to carry your things
If I am living with my family, I will let my brother carry my water jug, or laundry. Because most of the time I am all by myself and I don’t want to be a burden to anybody, I have no choice to carry my stuff which are too heavy for my size. One of the most tiresome things I did in college was transferring my stuff from dormitory to boarding house. I did not know how I managed to transfer balikbayan boxes on my own. I am no longer using it as excuse that I’m small and I’m a girl. Morale of the story for lazy girls like me: You are stronger than you think.

You value health
My brother told me the advantage of living with relatives is that someone takes care of you when you’re sick. This is true. The reason why I am healthy so far and why I want to be healthy is because I am on my own. Nobody is going to take care of me when I am sick. Hence, you should try living by yourself because it will improve you immune system. #truestory

You learn to take care of yourself
When you value health, you are obligated to take care of yourself. I buy my own medicine and food when I am sick. I bring a whistle and a pepper spray when I’m all alone.

You learn to reach out
When you don’t have a support group such as family, you find the need to have friends. I do feel homesick when I see families going to church on Sunday. Hence I make it a point to spend time with friends for comfort and sanity.

You learn to ask help 
I love my mom. When I am having a hard time to figure out how to get this and that, my mom helps me with everything. Our parents are our first Wikipedia. Now that I am on my own, I am forced to seek help from people who know better than me. I learn to be less shy. I learn to ask and make short chats. Don’t rely on yourself too much. You can’t survive without others.

You spend money wisely
You don’t really have much freedom when you are living by yourself in the sense that no one shoulders expenses for you. You learn to budget and save.

You learn to make decisions
Decision making is harder for people who are living on their own than those who are living with their families. Again, you don’t really have much freedom as you think you should. You can’t change careers or change address, change life plans as easy as a person who is still financially dependent.

Just how the song ends..

(Note to Self:)
Don’t go crying to your mama, coz you’re on your own in the real world.

Girls are like Magazines and Novels

There is no debate which is better, a novel or a magazine. Both have different target readers. The two are read for different purposes in different times. A novel is read during a quiet time in bedroom. A magazine is read during heavy traffic or while waiting one’s turn in the doctor’s clinic. A magazine is meant to entertain and to update readers. A novel is also meant to entertain but not to update readers. Magazines are for people on the rush while novels are for people who take time.

This leads me to compare girls with novels and magazines. A man who chooses a girl he will date is like a man who chooses what to buy in a bookstore. The one he chooses depends on what his needs and interests are. The man who likes to buy a novel is like a man who wants to spend a long time with his girl. The man who picks a magazine wants something that is easy and requires little time for reading like a girl who does not demand much time. If he has short attention span, he will prefer to buy a magazine. If he is a conscientious reader and pays attentions to small details, he will buy a novel.

Girls are like novels and magazines. Some are easy on the eyes and easy to love while some cannot catch a man’s attention in a swift glance. He will learn to like her with additional details. And if a novel takes a lot of time, hence he will never forget. But a magazine with its thin pages, he can neglect.

Between the two, a novel is expensive while a magazine depreciates in value over time. When a man reads a novel all over again, he will always discover something new. But when a man reads a magazine again, there is obviously nothing new. There are a lot of things that can be said about a novel and he can make a book review. But a magazine, what else can he say? Maybe he can give a brief description but not as rich as he would describe how an author writes a novel.

Magazines are available everywhere. He can find them in bus stop, airport, parlor, and grocery store. But a novel is not accessible all the time. Like novels, some girls are hard to reach while magazines are always within his reach. But if a man wants to brag his taste and intellect, he will display novels in his living room.

A novel is personal and intimate. A man who enjoys reading a novel, is eager to touch a new page. He smells it, sleeps with it, protects it. When a man is done reading a magazine, he leaves the magazine to others and say, “You can have it.”

A novel is something he can pass to the next generation but a magazine serves its own generation for when the trends are gone, it is lost. Some girls are like novels worth keeping for a lifetime while some are fleeting, lovely in their own time.

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