Stop

This is my rant to many rants. How ironic!

There is so much wickedness, bitterness in this world. Do your part to save the world by  not adding another problem. We do not need a  lot of rants, bad words, or trivial complaints. Of course, we need  to practice critical thought and discernment but there is a proper place and time for everything.

I hate ‘hate.’  Being pessimistic over a lot of things is not making the world a better place to live. Before you rant and before you critique, ask yourself: What will I gain and what will people gain out of it? Am I making the world  a better place to live?

I’m still pessimistic especially when my bratty self wants to come out.  We are a work in progress.

Here are some of my bad habits I want to unlearn.

Stop questioning people’s kindness
We always read news on corruption and crime. We have our personal stories of betrayal and trust issues.  It is hard to identify who are genuinely good. Sometimes, I ask: Is this person good to me because s/he wants something from me? Is this person nice only on the surface? Is this person building a charity to help or to improve his/her image? But who are we to judge a person’s intentions or motives? We can’t surely say what they want to get in return.  If we haven’t proved such judgement or claim is right, it is wise to give people an opportunity to do good before we shut our doors.

maleficent

Stop stealing people’s happiness
In other words, don’t be such a killjoy.  If someone is so happy over a chocolate bar, comics, soap opera, TV series, Justin Bieber, One Direction, chick flick, zombie movies, let that person be. People have different tastes and interests. We don’t have to like what others like to live peacefully. In fact, we can like one another without sharing the same interests or backgrounds . Let and let live.

Stop finding answers
You don’t have to know everything. It’s human nature that we want to make sense of the world but you do not need to have an answer for every life question. It is physically and emotionally draining to answer why does this have to happen to me? No explanation will ever be enough for life’s uncertainties. On what life does not entitle you to know, you let it go.

what happened

Stop glorifying busy
I’ve posted this twice but I think  this should be a constant reminder. We define productivity by the number of tasks we have in a day or by the number of roles we play but we should always put premium on quality or quantity. Being busy is not worth bragging and a lame excuse for not having time for yourself, and loved ones and time to rest. If you put your heart and soul into one activity in a day, consider yourself productive. And if you can’t comply all your to-do list, forgive yourself.

busy

Stop looking for things you don’t have
While ambitions and aspiration give motivation and meaning in life, too much thinking of what you do not have is a mental torture.

Stop looking at other people’s flaws
People have good and bad side. We always have a choice to magnify which side we want to see in people. I try not to judge someone’s value based on their shortcomings or their mistakes. It does not mean he is not a good student, he is not a good son. It does not mean he does not have a good temper, he is not generous. Ideally, we want people to be consistently good but reality tells us that people have different shades of goodness.

Stop talking negatively about yourself
Venting out your frustration about yourself is cathartic. It’s true that sometimes we just want to fish compliments. Every human being according to Maslow has this need for acceptance and affirmation. And sometimes we want a cheerleader or someone who can empathize. But too much negative talk about yourself can be damaging. I realize the more I talk negatively about myself, the more I remember the negative feelings I have for myself.  Hence, it prolongs agony and self-loathing. We can be very self-absorbed that we fail to notice that some people have more needs and failures but they choose not to see themselves as worthless.

Stop using What-if phrases
The what-if phrases are poisoning our minds. But then again, let go of what you cannot change.

Stop spreading the idea that men are polygamous by nature
We’ve heard a lot of real life stories of men having many women. It is happening but I will never buy the idea that it’s natural for men to have two women or more. It is not a call of nature. It is deviance. And spreading this idea that it’s so normal for men encourages more men to be like one. I simply don’t like it because it’s gender biased.

polygamy

Stop complaining
I am very guilty of this. I love to complain. When I’m bored, I want to argue. We like to complain because it’s also cathartic. Ranting may help us unload our stress and anxiety but you’ll never know you might be passing stress to your listeners. Be sensitive to others. As painful as this may sound but not everybody likes to listen to your problems or even world problems.

14 Do everything without complaining or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe 16 as you hold out the word of life–in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.

Philippians 2:14-16

 

I know complete abstinence from these bad habits is easier said than done but we can change our mindset gradually. Maybe we can have a quota for bad words, negative words, criticisms, gossips in a day or make sure pleasant words outnumber negative vibes.

Positive

balloon gaSometimes I cannot contain my happiness that I tend to laugh and smile everywhere. I smile in front of my computer screen. I smile all by myself when I’m walking in the street. Some people smile back at me because they think I’m smiling at them but in truth I’m just smiling at myself. I laugh inside the elevator. I laugh at people’s corny jokes but I am actually laughing at myself. I think I smile more when I’m alone than when I’m with the company of others.

There is always a way to be a positive thinker. This is a reminder to myself because I know I am going to have blue days with my self-centered problems and talk to the plants and animals, “Why does the universe conspire to make me miserable?”

But right now, I just need some tranquilizer. Let positive vibes reign in me.  Let me magnify weirdness. And have faith that God is bringing pieces of my life together.

Here are some of the laws, theories, principles in my search of irrational happiness.

WARNING:  If you are allergic to selfies and other narcissistic type of people, please do not continue reading.

Law of Gravity

Keep yourself grounded. It’s very tempting to envy people of your own age group, of your own clan, of your own environment who are better than you. But you gain knowledge and get inspiration from people who are younger, less experienced, more successful than you. It’s not wise to compare yourself with them. Don’t compete but learn to admire people who are better than you. Admiration is a proof of humility . Envy is a proof of insecurity.

“Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” – Proverbs 11: 2

Receiver Theory

IMG_1428
receive—- receive——receive

I have one simple rule that I’m trying to apply in my life: Just receive and receive. When something is laid in front of you, you just receive it freely. You don’t question if you deserve it. You take it even if you think you are not prepared. You take it as it is. You don’t wonder if there is a better choice because the chances are you don’t. Instead of using the word, “accept,” use “receive.” These two words may sound synonymous but they can change how you think. “Accept” is often combined with negative thoughts. “ I accept failure.””I accept rejection.” “Receive” on the other hand, is more related on positive things. “I receive a gift.” “I receive a letter.” “I receive a blessing.”

Belo’s Law of of Attraction: The best attracts the best

I DONT LIVE TO PLEASE YOU
photo from http://mypinkvisions.com

This is my version of sour grapes and sweet lemon. If it is not attracted to me, then it is not the best for me. It is a better way of saying  “If you do not make it then it’s not meant to be.”  We often think that we are lacking something when we don’t get the job we want, the person we like, the school we want.  It’s like this: If a guy/girl does not like you, don’t think you are not good enough. Instead, s/he is not good enough for you.  Why do we have  to find flaws in ourselves?  Similarly, if a rejection letter comes in your door, do not grieve too much as if all your hopes and dreams lie  on a single life event.  It’s not just the best event that could have happened in your life.

Reuse, Reduce , Recycle

I have a lot of baggage but I learn to let go and run away from all the negative vibes. So what do we do with negative thoughts and feelings? We reuse, reduce, and recycle.  Stage fright is negative but  you can get your energy on stage out of it.  Jog, box, exercise if these can take away bitterness. You burn calories when you burn negative thoughts. There are so many things you can get from a bad memory. You can convert it to life lesson.

“When I look back on my life, it’s not that I don’t want to see things exactly as they happened, it’s just that I prefer to remember them in an artistic way. And truthfully, the lie of it all is much more honest because I invented it. ” -Lady Gaga

Belo Principle for Beauty

If you think you’re pretty, thank God that you enjoy looking at your face. And if you think you are not pretty, cheer up. At least, you don’t attract people who are very superficial.

SELFIE
A real selfie should look like this

Singing in the street is fun

People think I’m crazy because they see me talking to myself, smiling and singing alone, comfortable in my own world. I tend to hop a little when I walk in the busy streets of Metro Manila. I sometimes catch a stranger’s attention. Do you know how? It’s either I tripped up stairs, slipped on the escalator. But on some occasions, I sing out loud while walking in the streets which I am really unaware of. When someone turns his back to see me, that’s when I begin to feel that my mouth is moving and releasing a big note.  Then, I come back to my senses and pretend that it’s not embarrassing at all. It happened when I was walking through  Ayala underpass. An NGO representative approached me and said, “Ma’am I believe you are singing.”

Sometimes, I’m lost in my own world. I create a moment on the streets as if I am in MTV.  And I get inspiration from my favorite music videos which center on a girl singing in the middle of the streets.

Who Says by Selena Gomez

This video has a lot of cute stuff, very sassy. I love the scene when Selena  with her long gown, runs along the streets barefoot. I hope a lot of young girls will listen to this song because  it has a good message.

Quotable Quote:

I’m no beauty queen, I’m just beautiful me
You got every right to a beautiful life, come on

Put your hearts up by Ariana Grande

This is a feel good video with simple choreography and bright colors. I like how it looks like a musical movie scene or a Disney film.

It’s Oh So Quiet by Bjork

I wish I could find a clearer a copy of this music video.  This is another music video that looks like it’s part of  musical film. But unlike Put your hearts up, this song sounds more like Broadway

Gravity by Sara Barilles

I also like melancholic songs (You see, I’m  crazy and bipolar. I like extremely sad and extremely happy songs.) What makes this music video unique is its cosmic theme which is very creatively done.

Who You Are by Jessie J

This is one of my favorite songs. I want to imitate what Jessie J did,  singing in the corner of the train station.  Of all the videos I mentioned here, this one is close to reality. When you sing  your heart out in a public place, the crowd don’t join you in singing. They  just stare  at you or ignore. I love this song (so redundant, am I?) I listen to this song when I want to reflect on what am I doing to myself (naks!)

Quotable Quote:

Don’t lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It’s okay not to be okay.