Inner Selfie and Imaginary Audience

fb userDo you have friends in Facebook who regularly post photos of themselves? Does it starve you staring at Instagram photos of your friends’ meals? Do you want to hide someone in your wall  because s/he occupies your news feed? Do you like to believe that you don’t care about the new car, new shoes of your friends  posted in Facebook? Do you wonder why this person has to broadcast every detail of his day including the place he checked-in with Google map attached? At times, these people can be very annoying. But wait, you can be one of the self-centered, self-absorbed, self-conscious people. As I believe, each of us has an inner selfie waiting to be unleashed.

Everybody is using social media for self-promotion. If you like to sell a product or service, make a Facebook page. If you have an idea, share it. If you have a show, promote. If you have a talk, invite. If you support a cause, inform. Sometimes, it’s funny when we talk about ourselves as third person. If you are a performer, you might tweet: “I am going to perform this Valentine’s Day, catch me in Music Museum.” If you are a motivational speaker, you might tweet: “I’ll be having a talk on How to Improve Your Life. See you in Cebu.” Even FB wall status encourages you to use third-person voice. Jackie Bello is listening to Mozart. Jackie Bello is feeling loved. We become our own publicists.

Whether you share news articles or state a political opinion, it is your inner selfie who wants to be relevant. Even if you use alias or pen name in your blog, you are still making yourself important.  You believe your thoughts, your life events, are worth publishing online. Whether you rant and write your depression in life, you are aiming at an audience whom you assume will understand you. And this imaginary audience that you subconsciously think of before you upload and update, includes your peers, high school classmates, new-found friends, acquaintances, the guy you met online, the ex of your ex, your future mother-in-law, the people you admire, the last person you just gave your business card, the people you envy, the  people you hate, and others. Imagine a big cyber crowd is waiting for an update of your life. This is what your inner selfie has been whispering to your head. In real life, we don’t like stalkers but when we are online, we like stalkers. We build a fantasy that we are celebrities. And I plead guilty.

Hence, I appeal to the general public: do not judge the selfies. Do not complain about  their prominent presence online. Do not complain about the number of photos they have, wearing the same outfit, same hairstyle, same lightning. Yes, they are in love with themselves but I prefer them over people who type negative comments in Youtube, who backbite online using blind items in their wall status, who share disappointment and anger over traffic, weather, and over anything else. We just need some positive people around. Besides, we have a fair share of narcissistic moments online. You and I are guilty.

I initially want to conclude this by saying: “Choose what you share online. Evaluate if it’s worth sharing. Sharing is good.” But in the internet world, sharing is not very different from bragging. What do you give when you share a selfie photo? Will it brighten someone’s day?  Or will you make a bad impression by showing how idle you are? What will people get when you share a photo of yourself?

Entertainment, I guess.

We live in our imagination.

Here are a few lines from Vanesa Hidary, in her piece, Forever Beautiful till I Saw You on Facebook.

You see there is  an amazing place in my brain called my imagination. And even though it might have me delusional and have me think that my recent love is home miserable by my absence. I’d like to live in that place… It’s so ridiculous I know to not know things when you actually can. But  like the busy signal sometimes I just like to be unavailable to be reached.

This will not end without a selfie photo.

sample selfie

Positive

balloon gaSometimes I cannot contain my happiness that I tend to laugh and smile everywhere. I smile in front of my computer screen. I smile all by myself when I’m walking in the street. Some people smile back at me because they think I’m smiling at them but in truth I’m just smiling at myself. I laugh inside the elevator. I laugh at people’s corny jokes but I am actually laughing at myself. I think I smile more when I’m alone than when I’m with the company of others.

There is always a way to be a positive thinker. This is a reminder to myself because I know I am going to have blue days with my self-centered problems and talk to the plants and animals, “Why does the universe conspire to make me miserable?”

But right now, I just need some tranquilizer. Let positive vibes reign in me.  Let me magnify weirdness. And have faith that God is bringing pieces of my life together.

Here are some of the laws, theories, principles in my search of irrational happiness.

WARNING:  If you are allergic to selfies and other narcissistic type of people, please do not continue reading.

Law of Gravity

Keep yourself grounded. It’s very tempting to envy people of your own age group, of your own clan, of your own environment who are better than you. But you gain knowledge and get inspiration from people who are younger, less experienced, more successful than you. It’s not wise to compare yourself with them. Don’t compete but learn to admire people who are better than you. Admiration is a proof of humility . Envy is a proof of insecurity.

“Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” – Proverbs 11: 2

Receiver Theory

IMG_1428
receive—- receive——receive

I have one simple rule that I’m trying to apply in my life: Just receive and receive. When something is laid in front of you, you just receive it freely. You don’t question if you deserve it. You take it even if you think you are not prepared. You take it as it is. You don’t wonder if there is a better choice because the chances are you don’t. Instead of using the word, “accept,” use “receive.” These two words may sound synonymous but they can change how you think. “Accept” is often combined with negative thoughts. “ I accept failure.””I accept rejection.” “Receive” on the other hand, is more related on positive things. “I receive a gift.” “I receive a letter.” “I receive a blessing.”

Belo’s Law of of Attraction: The best attracts the best

I DONT LIVE TO PLEASE YOU
photo from http://mypinkvisions.com

This is my version of sour grapes and sweet lemon. If it is not attracted to me, then it is not the best for me. It is a better way of saying  “If you do not make it then it’s not meant to be.”  We often think that we are lacking something when we don’t get the job we want, the person we like, the school we want.  It’s like this: If a guy/girl does not like you, don’t think you are not good enough. Instead, s/he is not good enough for you.  Why do we have  to find flaws in ourselves?  Similarly, if a rejection letter comes in your door, do not grieve too much as if all your hopes and dreams lie  on a single life event.  It’s not just the best event that could have happened in your life.

Reuse, Reduce , Recycle

I have a lot of baggage but I learn to let go and run away from all the negative vibes. So what do we do with negative thoughts and feelings? We reuse, reduce, and recycle.  Stage fright is negative but  you can get your energy on stage out of it.  Jog, box, exercise if these can take away bitterness. You burn calories when you burn negative thoughts. There are so many things you can get from a bad memory. You can convert it to life lesson.

“When I look back on my life, it’s not that I don’t want to see things exactly as they happened, it’s just that I prefer to remember them in an artistic way. And truthfully, the lie of it all is much more honest because I invented it. ” -Lady Gaga

Belo Principle for Beauty

If you think you’re pretty, thank God that you enjoy looking at your face. And if you think you are not pretty, cheer up. At least, you don’t attract people who are very superficial.

SELFIE
A real selfie should look like this