To the Boy I love

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There is a reason why friends do not celebrate monthsaries and anniversaries. Real friends know no time and limits.

Thank you for lending me a handkerchief when I feel like crying forever. Thank you for using the word douche-bag when I badly want to hear it. Thank you for reminding me that I deserve a hug much tighter than yours. And when I am preoccupied with my personal problems, thank you for knocking my head , “That’s too middleclass. Pwede ba irelate mo naman yung problema mo sa problema ng Pilipinas?

Sometimes love is not made of bows and arrows, hearts and flowers. Sometimes it lies in true friendship.

I embrace your superiority complex and all  kinds of complexities that come with our  friendship 🙂

I am happy with your victories in life. You are awesome. I know that’s an understatement

We are the most odd combination but thanks to Social Exchange Theory, we get along very well …lol

To me, you are always original. You are the only friend who will give me a long sermon of NGO.

If you need a girlfriend, I can volunteer. ( Joke lang!  )

When I painfully think of growing old, I imagine visiting your own place and having your home-cooked meals. We will have endless milk tea and random ramblings.

This is to remind you that you will always have a friend when you want to be classy or when you want to be jologs.

I am ending this letter with your favorite’s singer epic line:

“I will always love you ”

-Whitney Houston

From your friend whose love for you is unrecognizable and almost invisible

-Jackie

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To my X Someday

To my future ex,

First of all, I don’t believe in you. I don’t believe in the future to begin with. Now is the only real moment.

I once named you Ekam Eveileb from Cecelia Ahern’s novel, If You Could See Me Now

I don’t fall when I’m in love. I rise. I transcend.

You will be the X someday. You are both a threat and a potential.

If everything works in God’s timing, we don’t have to build a home someday because every place we go is home. I want to discover many places with you and challenge you to eat all kinds of food. I want us to explore temples, churches, beaches, and mountains but I am perfectly fine sitting in a coffee shop while listening to all your throwback stories and all your life lessons.

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I am a masochist when I fall in love. I want you to suffer. I want memories of me ache you. When I am not around, I want everything to remind you of me. When the sun is burning in Middle East, I want it to remind you of my skin brushed against yours. I want you to see how empty your hands are without me. I want you want to feel how lonely the streets, grocery stores and shopping malls are so that you will always look forward of meeting me.

I want to be that newfound word that you keep using until it becomes permanent in your vocabulary.

I want to be the last song syndrome that your ears just can’t get off, no matter how hard you try.

You will be in the entries of my diary even if our story lacks drama and thrill. It may be mundane and unexciting to some. It may not pass for a soap opera or a romance film but it creates a sanctuary for two lost souls. Is it not amazing how God can come up a love story just by weaving photos, screenshots, and emoticons, and air waves?

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Thank you for making me realize that no matter how strong you are or how happy you are, you will be needing others.

When I felt like I had already auctioned my dreams, you bought them back. Because of you, I am starting to dream all over again. I can never spell the word because without “us”.

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I want to be at my best because you deserve the best. There will come a time when everyday will be like Christmas and every morning will be like new year.

I know you will reach greater heights because you are always equipped for success. If things don’t work out according to your plan, it has nothing to do with you. It is divine intervention. Wherever the tides of life will take you, I will swim along so that you can get through it.

If ever you feel there is a shortage of love on earth, just look above. It is something we both shared.

But just like X in algebra, you are a variable.

If I think of you as a threat, you can be that Xtra note that I struggle to sing. You can be the Xcess baggage that I carry everyday.

But if God is on our side, I am Xtremely positive that you are an Xample of my future. You will just have to be my X so that we can finally put everything on stone.

For that, I choose you to be an independent variable. You are a game changer.

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Happy Birthday!

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Love and Light,

Jackie

Note:  Long ago, I had a draft of a letter to my future ex. I was supposed to post these months ago when I was still available. haha!  Then you came and all I had to do is finish this letter with details of you.

Ang cheesy! 😀

To my hypothetical daughter

IMG_20150407_125805To my hypothetical daughter,

I have loved you even before you were born.

I want you to know that you are perfectly made, and whatever you will gain in life  will just be an add-on to who you are and what you have. Whether you will have an eyeliner, a jewel, a sash or a medal,  they do not set the price of who you are.

While it is my duty to protect you, it is also my responsibility to introduce you to the real world. I will let you chase butterflies even if they leave you with cuts and bruises. If you need to get dirty to feel the earth, you will always have my permission. Don’t worry if you trip or fall. Mama had always been clumsy and she survived.

I will not force you to read books but every night I will read stories to you. Maybe I might read some fairy tales to you but I don’t want you to dream of a knight and shining armor. I want you to be a queen in your own kingdom. I want you to lead the universe without a crown and scepter. And if you want romance, you can always avail it. You can find romance in sappy movies, in strings and verses, in sunset and sunrise. You don’t need to kiss a frog to find it.

I want you to know that the popular girl in campus is not your competitor. She is your sister. And the girl begging for a piece of bread is also your sister. I want you to know that sisterhood is beyond blood ties, spaces, and races. Understand that every girl struggles with life the way you do. Never see someone’s achievement as a threat to you. Sisters rejoice in each other’s victories and lift those who are falling. If you are starting to feel worthless, convert envy into batteries of inspiration. People value you not based on who you defeat and which place you conquer but how you treat others. Kill your enemies with kindness.

I don’t want you to be obsessed with magazine covers. I will probably buy you some to let you know that the front cover is a product of art and creativity. Do not think of your body parts as mere objects but as  extension of your innate abilities. I don’t want you to dream of becoming a cover girl because your mama cannot assure you that you will win the genetic lottery. Instead, dream of legs that can take you to faraway lands, dream of eyes that can see the future, dream of breasts that can feed, dream of lips that can convey power, and dream of a body that can work for God’s glory.

One day, you will spot blood stain in your skirt. As you will earn pimples, you will be more familiar with the sound of catcalls. Mama will not stop you from meeting boys, the way your grandma hasn’t. But I’ll tell you there are much more interesting things in this world than boys such as travel, culture, trekking, spirits, fashion, martial arts, and a lot more.

As you grow old, some things will be more expensive such as confidence, love, and pride but do not be deceived by what  the TV tells you. Do not save your money for these things. You cannot buy confidence with toothpaste. You cannot buy love with a box of chocolates.

If you make mistakes, do not think of yourself less. No one can break you. You are a rubber band. You will bounce back, no matter how hard life will stretch you. Mama will always remind you that “Everything will be fine. And it’s okay not to be okay.”

I want you to work hard, not for me, but for yourself and for what you believe in.

If one day, you decide to get married, my first question would be, “Are you serious?”

I will not ask for a grandchild. If you are happy in what you do, you fulfill your mama’s dream.

If you want to be a teacher, a pastry chef, an engineer, a farmer, a soldier, a cosplayer, a mother or whatever fictional character you can think of, I will help you become one.

I will give you wings when you want to fly. I will give you a microphone whenever you think your voice is too small.

Your life begins with me but it does not have to end with me. I want to share you with the world so that they can see how wonderful God made you.

Remember, you are a happiness machine.

You will be what you want to be.

And even before you realize what you can be, you are already enough.

“ Dahil ang totoong nagmamahal ay mapagpalaya”

Love and light,

Your hypothetical mother