Signs of Aging

I think I’m the perfect epitome of forever 21. I am also qualified for forever 16, forever 14, and forever 12.   I’ll never grow old whether I like it or not. That’s what I believe in  but lately things change. I now feel old.  I can lie about  my age if  I talk about inches, lines, and wrinkles. But there are some clear signs of aging that I cannot deny.

When you see your peers change their relationship status to married and baby photos in their wall photos

Most of the time, I am surprised when I see my batch mates in school, my friends and acquaintances over here and there share wedding photos. “But that’s impossible! He was just about my age.”  Really? Does that mean I can get married too? Reality bites. It’s just so hard for me to reconcile that I can be mother and a wife, like some of my peers do.

When your dreams are SMARTer

As you and I grow old, our dreams become smaller and smarter so that they can fit into our world. Only a small population of those who have dreamed to be lawyers and doctors in high school will stick to their childhood dreams. When you plan your life ahead, you make practical goal setting.  As what my RGEP teacher said goals should be SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-bound)

When you easily get tired and bored

I suddenly feel my body is slowly aging. It’s not  as energetic as it used to be. I used to cram a lot when I was still studying.  I could endure long nights yet stay alive the following day. Today, I cannot  keep my body alert and awake all the time. I have no power to fight sleep anymore. I sleep everywhere.

When cute boys are not interesting

Maybe this is just me. If  Iwere a bit younger, I would probably like Daniel Padilla. But I’m just too old to appreciate the likes of Daniel Padilla, Justine Bieber or even guys with baby-face like Richard Gutierrez.  I prefer men over boys because boys need a lot of catching up to do. In short I opt to watch a movie of Richard Gere over Zach Efron’s. lol *kidding

When you wear thick face and thick skin

Confidence comes in age.  Now, in my twenties, I take risks without thinking.  Lesson learned in life: the more you think, the more you don’t do it.  Think less and you will achieve more .  As the years go by, I develop thick skin. With the number of years on earth comes the number of failures and rejection. You will eventually acquire immunity.

When you forget your age

I don’t speak lies but  apparently I have some memory gap which is another sign of aging. I sometimes fill out forms with my wrong age.

When you are already concerned about money and security

Teens will not normally talk about savings, investment, and business. And if you happen to hear these words a dozen times, congratulations, you are now an adult.

When the teen star you used to watch is now an adult

When I watched Anne Hathaway played Fantine in Les Miserables, I could not get over the thought she was the girl in Princess Diaries. She was the nerdy and clumsy Princess Mia and now she’s playing a prostitute.  If the teen star is now a full grown adult, then I’m probably an adult too? Gee, how old am I?

When you witness your nieces growing up

It’s easier to notice children growing up than grown-ups growing old. Kids serve as my calendar. They remind me how old I am.

When you’re with someone super young, you’ll feel super old too

Age Defying?

While other women search for anti-aging cream, I am hoping someone can invent a cosmetic product that will help me look old. Who knows maybe there is really a product of pro-aging? Perhaps, it is not well-known because people find it silly to ask a saleslady if they sell an item promising its customers that they will look older. If nothing has been made, Olay or Dove should probably make a solution. I just like the companies of health and beauty and dermatologists to know that there are clients like me who need to be addressed.

I do not seem to understand why many people want to look young. In my life, there are more disadvantages than advantages of looking young. It has often been debated that age does not matter. My stand is that real age does not matter but perceived age does matter.

Recently, I had almost argued to a lady security guard at the airport. Before I entered, she asked how old I was. There was a short pause as if she were evaluating if what I said was true. Then I called out my sister who was waiting for me to say my final goodbye. My sister confirmed with a laugh that I was definitely twenty something. The security guard smiled and said, “ It’s not obvious.” (Too late, I was already humiliated.)

This is not the first time that my age was questionable for traveling. There was a time when I had to accompany my nieces to Cebu. We spent a night at the barge. Some passengers were surprised that we were traveling alone without any other adults. To come to think of it, I was already of legal age. Even today, I still notice ticketing officers, strangers at the seaport, cabin crew, taxi drivers doubting my real age. They may not speak out loud but I know that they are studying how I look.

I really have a problem of my age appearance. I can not watch an R-18 movie freely without the movie theater’s personnel questioning my age. In moments like these, I feel like yelling to them and say, “I’m already a college student. And yes, I am not 18 years old. I am no longer 18 years old! ”

My perceived age has affected my way of living in big effects or in small effects. Young appearance is also equated to innocence. Whenever I am in the university, they think I am a freshie. I see some of my schoolmates are confused on calling me, “Ate.” I really don’t mind though. I get used to it and accept it as a compliment.

Now, I make sure I wear my glasses when I am riding a taxi all alone at night. I need it not only for my poor vision at night but also for my security. The taxi driver might think I am a lost child. The best protection is to pretend that I know where I am going and to look like an adult by wearing eyeglasses.

But my eyeglasses fail to hide my girly look. It can not reveal my age, either. Even if I wear slacks and business suit, I am still looking at a ten-year old girl playing her mother’s clothes in front of the mirror. I do not even think growing inches taller will help me look like a genuine adult. Maybe, it has something to do with my baby fats, my size or my face. Maybe everything in me makes me young. My actions? I can be very childish. But even if I sit silently in the corner, they will still think I am in my early teens.

It is better to look like a sweet ten-year-old girl than to look like an unattractive 22-year-old hag but it pays a price. A ten-year-old girl can not pass a job interview, can not travel by herself, can not watch ex-rated films without a chaperon, can not walk on the streets at night. So, if ever someone will find the fountain of youth, he should think again if he should sip the water coming from it or not.

But then,

who cares how long I have lived in this world?