To my X Someday

To my future ex,

First of all, I don’t believe in you. I don’t believe in the future to begin with. Now is the only real moment.

I once named you Ekam Eveileb from Cecelia Ahern’s novel, If You Could See Me Now

I don’t fall when I’m in love. I rise. I transcend.

You will be the X someday. You are both a threat and a potential.

If everything works in God’s timing, we don’t have to build a home someday because every place we go is home. I want to discover many places with you and challenge you to eat all kinds of food. I want us to explore temples, churches, beaches, and mountains but I am perfectly fine sitting in a coffee shop while listening to all your throwback stories and all your life lessons.


I am a masochist when I fall in love. I want you to suffer. I want memories of me ache you. When I am not around, I want everything to remind you of me. When the sun is burning in Middle East, I want it to remind you of my skin brushed against yours. I want you to see how empty your hands are without me. I want you want to feel how lonely the streets, grocery stores and shopping malls are so that you will always look forward of meeting me.

I want to be that newfound word that you keep using until it becomes permanent in your vocabulary.

I want to be the last song syndrome that your ears just can’t get off, no matter how hard you try.

You will be in the entries of my diary even if our story lacks drama and thrill. It may be mundane and unexciting to some. It may not pass for a soap opera or a romance film but it creates a sanctuary for two lost souls. Is it not amazing how God can come up a love story just by weaving photos, screenshots, and emoticons, and air waves?


Thank you for making me realize that no matter how strong you are or how happy you are, you will be needing others.

When I felt like I had already auctioned my dreams, you bought them back. Because of you, I am starting to dream all over again. I can never spell the word because without “us”.


I want to be at my best because you deserve the best. There will come a time when everyday will be like Christmas and every morning will be like new year.

I know you will reach greater heights because you are always equipped for success. If things don’t work out according to your plan, it has nothing to do with you. It is divine intervention. Wherever the tides of life will take you, I will swim along so that you can get through it.

If ever you feel there is a shortage of love on earth, just look above. It is something we both shared.

But just like X in algebra, you are a variable.

If I think of you as a threat, you can be that Xtra note that I struggle to sing. You can be the Xcess baggage that I carry everyday.

But if God is on our side, I am Xtremely positive that you are an Xample of my future. You will just have to be my X so that we can finally put everything on stone.

For that, I choose you to be an independent variable. You are a game changer.



Happy Birthday!

windmill 4

Love and Light,


Note:  Long ago, I had a draft of a letter to my future ex. I was supposed to post these months ago when I was still available. haha!  Then you came and all I had to do is finish this letter with details of you.

Ang cheesy! 😀

5 thoughts on “To my X Someday

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