“I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life. It seems like everything I do has no meaning.”
I told my brother about my quarter life crisis. At this stage of my life, I almost tried everything and made a point to check everything in my bucket list but still, I feel something is missing and I can’t pinpoint what it is.
My brother replied: “When I was your age, I never thought of that. But you’re lucky that you are thinking your purpose in life. Some people will never think about that. Why don’t you take a break, travel, contemplate, find yourself?”
This advice sounded useful but my brother was laughing all the time as if I was a big joke. I find this conversation predestined because after a few weeks I-need-to-find-myself theme became a trending topic. ( Thanks to Billy Crawford and Nikki Gil’s breakup)
I thought of my obsession in travelling alone in India where I can be a vegetarian for a month, learn yoga, and have a journal with me. Perhaps, there I can find myself. But India is beyond my reach. So i tried to find inspiration within my environment. Then, I thought of the pig my aunt was taking care of. This leads me to a conversation I had with a friend…
Me: Do you eat the fish you have taken care of?
Friend: that’s the plan
Me: You killed the fish you once cared for
Friend: It’s the circle of life
Me: Food chain haha
Friend: One day I’ll die and help grass grow.. that grass will feed a cricket and a fish will eat the cricket it all works out haha
Me: But the lives of the fish and the pigs will be meaningful only when they die
Friend: That’s a good point! hopefully my life is a little more meaningful
Me: Yah, it has more meaning than feeding the crickets and feeding the fish
Friend: thank goodness! what are you doing this afternoon?
Me: Waiting for the rain to stop, then jog and maybe read … and find meaning in my life lol
Friend: Find meaning in your life? what do you mean by that? Lol
Me: How do i find meaning in my life? i just look at the grass and wait for the crickets to feast on them
When I thought about my aunt’s pig, I realize how awful a pig’s life is. He is a lifetime prisoner and is sentenced to death. He moves in a small corner of his pig pen and then he sleeps again. The life of the pig is sacrificial. He is a hero to a family who’s waiting for a large feast. He is born to die. You can only measure his worth when he dies.
Well, what am I talking about? I hope my life is more than a pig’s life.
These are my silly random thoughts…
How about you?How do you find your purpose in life? 🙂