Sunday Morning

Have you experienced waking up in the morning and asking yourself, “Why am I still alive”?

I feel this way every Sunday morning, except mornings in my parents’ house. I wake up and ask silly questions on my head. Why do I work so hard? Why do I have to work? Why do I have to succeed?What is the measurement of success? On my efforts of improving my life, is it necessary? Why do I demand too much of myself? What are my plans? Do I really have to plan? What are my goals for? Why do I have to accomplish something? What is the end goal of everything I do? Why can’t I just be contented with love and simple life? Why do I want to make my life complicated? Am I happy?What is the measurement of happiness? Will this make me happy?

These random thoughts haunt me every Sunday morning. It’s like a session of Purpose Driven Life. It’s like a tiny Jacklyn shouting at my head , “There is something wrong. There is something missing.” I suddenly feel incomplete. I miss the comforts of my home. I miss my family. I miss waking up in a place where I know I am loved and cared for. I have lived all by myself for almost five years but I entertain the feeling of homesickness every Sunday morning. It’s not about being homesick. It is the feeling of uncertainty that causes unfathomable sorrow.

As weekdays go on, my life follows a must-to-do list. But it is during Sunday morning, that I wonder why I restlessly think of controlling my life. Like King Solomon, I share the same sentiment.Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.” Ecclesiastes 2:11

And here I am writing non-lucid thoughts hoping that I am not alone. Just a survey to comfort me, “Was there a time that you woke up and asked yourself, “Why are you still alive?”

Advertisements

5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. orlando
    Jan 19, 2013 @ 02:17:33

    andiyan
    na
    yan…

    so,
    let
    us
    keep
    going..

    where?

    yan
    nga
    ang
    tanong..

    of
    legal
    age
    na
    mana
    tayong
    lahat…

    he
    he…

    Like

    Reply

  2. cestlavie22
    Jan 15, 2013 @ 02:04:04

    I think we all have those moments. But remember everything happens for a reason. Each day that we are still living is a day we can do something great- we need to take advantage of that!

    Like

    Reply

  3. cheesecake
    Jan 14, 2013 @ 05:50:34

    nabasa ko na rin yung book pero tanong ko pa din yan. 😀

    Like

    Reply

  4. Lapiskamay
    Jan 14, 2013 @ 00:26:00

    minsan nga naiisip when ako tatawid ng mundo at hanggang kailan nalang ako dito. hehe. ang hirap naman sagutin ng mga katanungan mo. hehe.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow Jackie Belo on WordPress.com
%d bloggers like this: