One of my favorite hobbies is daydreaming. Sometimes I’m trapped with my own world, that I am shocked when someone calls me out of nowhere. The world in me is so beautiful that I’d rather live there than be on the real world. The things I do every day, the plans I have for my future are for my physical self but my mind, my heart is somewhere else. It is easy for me to fake happiness or to lament on nothing. For me, my reality is fiction and the reality we know is superficial. Okay, I sound creepy.
My favorite hobby led me to a long list of impossible wishes. Here are some things I wish I could do if there were no boundaries in this world we live.
I wish I could perform on a train
Every time I ride a train, I keep wishing that I can sing loud especially, when I’m suffering from last long syndrome. The lyrics are on the tip of my tongue. I wish I can throw them out. I want to wear a 40s dress and move from one side to the other side of the train. The scene flashes on my head like an old musical movie or something that appeared like Broadway. The closest thing I have done is to do pole dancing on the train. I have no intention of doing pole dancing in the train. But my friends who witnessed and were embarrassed at my presence said so. I just glide around the train’s pole except that my hair swayed and it was gracefully executed. (lol)
I wish I could do storytelling in a bookstore
I got this idea from my Oral Interpretation class in college. My teacher said that for our finals, we could do something like her students of Interpretation of Children Literature did. They performed in National Book Store. I really like the ambiance of specialty bookstore. It’s quiet. It gives you moment to contemplate and to relax. I thought a bookstore would be a nice place for performance. Take note: I don’t just want to read a book in front of the kids. I want performance level. (hehe) I want to wear a costume and do some little effects. I am always fascinated with costumes and masks. I wear my tutu skirt even if people stare at me and ask me, “What are you wearing?”
I wish I could make a storyboard
Before I dreamed of becoming a rock star and pursued so many absurd dreams, I wanted to be an artist. I mean a visual artist, one who draws and colors. In grade school, I was never elected nor nominated as one of the class officers. Eventually I became a class officer, as the class artist because I was the favorite of my English teacher (Art = English?) I think I joined a poster making contest. I think I landed third place (Yah, I know I’m bragging). The little things I did in grade school made me dream to work on Walt Disney. I wanted to work behind the scenes of Disney films. I wanted to be one of those guys who was responsible for the film’s storyboard. But as I grew up, that dream died out. When I was in high school, I felt I lacked talent and practice to pursue it. My childhood ambition to take Fine Arts in college remained in my childhood. How could I possibly survive the course when I could not make an origami or draw a straight line? But my hope of making a storyboard is still there. Besides it’s not a drawing board, it’s a storyboard.
I wish I could meet life-changing strangers
I find this funny because it’s one way or the other of telling you want to find true love somewhere. No matter how hermit-like I am, I love people. Even if it’s so hard to socialize and to agree upon something, I still like to meet new people. Meeting people widens your perspective in life. I gain wisdom as I meet new people. As I travel from different parts of the country, I met strangers who were quite unforgettable. It makes me happy to know that a stranger shares a few bits of his life with me. There was one I met on the barge going from Visayas to Mindanao. He was from a seminary. The funny thing about him is he did everything I asked him to do. He sang. He delivered a declamation piece. He showed a picture of his girlfriend. When I was 11 years old, I was strolling around the park with my three-year old nephew, I met a man. He talked about his family. He was separated with his wife and son. He showed me a picture of his son. He told me his son was about my age. These rare occasions warm my heart knowing that you lend them your ear and in return, they share you stories.
These are the thoughts running in my head in moments when someone tells me, “Jacklyn, may sarili kang mundo”(You have your own world.)