I was thinking about death while I was watching news about Tsunami in Japan. I got scared when I heard one of my high school classmates died of cancer. The war in Middle East, natural calamities, and unknown killer diseases make me think that the end of the world is coming soon. I ask, what if I discover I have a lethal disease? What if the earth is about to die? What if I just disappear? What if destiny made a random choice and chose to eliminate me? Because I fear and feel that the end is near, I come up a list of the things I must do if I find out I only have 50 days to live. A time frame of fifty days is enough to work on things I should have done.
Here are the things I should do if I only have 50 days to live.
I will write personal letters. I will tell mom and dad that they are best parents in the world. I’ll tell Mr. You-know-who-you-are how thankful I am to have met you. I’ll tell my brothers and sisters that even if I have the chance to choose my siblings, I’ll pick them. I’ll tell my friends how brilliant they are even if they can be the most annoying people in my life. But don’t expect me to write on paper, I’ll write on air so that the world will know how special you are.
If the event calls a hug, I will hug. I will initiate group hugs. Even if I feel awkward or even if that person feels awkward, I will still hug. And if that person doesn’t like my hug, I’ll tell him that I only have 50 days to live. If life circumstances such as ridicule, shame, and, lack of relevance, will not allow me to hug, I’ll send online hugs by typing *hugs* everywhere in social networks.
Spread ‘I miss you’ and ‘I love you’ like virus
I’ll post “I miss you” and “I love you” on my friends’ Facebook. I will send them text messages with “I love you” and “I miss you” like spam mails. I am only affectionate when I’m sarcastic. It means I was not born affectionate. I can count the number of times I personally said “I love you” in my lifetime. I barely say it even on a phone call. Though I have used these three words in my keyboard and keypad, I cannot simply force these words out of my mouth. So, I’ll be brave enough to do this. I’ll write or type “I love you” or “I miss you” even if my reasoning tells me that these people don’t deserve to know. I’ll spread “I love you” and “I miss you” even if only a few or none will throw back these words to me.
Multiply positive words
How many times did I say nice things to other people? I better start letting people know what they should know about themselves. Sometimes people don’t really give compliments because of their ego. We don’t tell someone is pretty because we think we are prettier. We always look for imperfection. “She has good diction but she cannot pronounce the word, ‘rendezvous’. ” We often believe that we have to give constructive criticism to improve a person. But sometimes we forget that appreciation and encouragement can make someone better. If I have a chance to say something nice, I’ll say so. I will notice the smallest things that I find interesting in you and I will tell you the simple reasons why I like you. “You look good with your new shirt.” “You have a pleasant voice.”You are funny.”
Read the Bible and pray
It’s a natural instinct to call upon God when you know that you are dying. I will thank God for everything and that I have 50 days at least to live and beg for an extension. And most of all, ask forgiveness for the 8,395 sins I have committed in my lifetime.
Eat my favorite food
Why worry about getting fat? I won’t live long enough to see my body change. I’ll have a slice of chocolate cake and have some Hershey bars to ease the pain of leaving the world too early.
Reply text messages/ email
I don’t send text messages like spam mails on my friends’ phones. I don’t reply group messages and forwarded quotes. But because I only have to 50 days to live, why not send them a reply? Who knows? It might be our last communication. I will reply text messages including those from people I don’t feel like ‘texting’. Though don’t expect me to reply on your phone, I’ll send you a message through Facebook or through telepathy.
I don’t call. The last time I had a good habit of phone calling was during my first year in Diliman. I called almost everyday. I called almost all the members of my family. I cried every call. It could have been the best telecom radio commercial. Very dramatic with lots of sound effects. Now I enjoy emotional independence and making a phone call is my last option. It is an irony that I don’t call when I can afford to have unlimited calls. With my 50-day challenge, please don’t turn off your phone.
Spend more time with my family
For obvious reasons
Make a very long list of people I want to thank
I want people to know that I treasure the little things and big things they intentionally and unintentionally do for me to help me become Jacklyn Belo-The Updated Version.
Review and edit my blog and diary
I will have instant readers for my blog and diary for sure. I will clean my diary and blog. Make sure they contain the right words and the right thoughts. I’m quite confident that everything I wrote for my blog is for everybody to read. But I doubt my diary is a good read (lol). My diary has a lot of omissions, unnecessary stories, and redundancies, not only in words but feelings, rants, life mistakes, as well.
I don’t know if I have 50 days to live. I might as well start my countdown today. In case, I’m not doing any of these, please slap me on the face and remind me that I only have 50 days to live.
Here’s a short reminder