While other women search for anti-aging cream, I am hoping someone can invent a cosmetic product that will help me look old. Who knows maybe there is really a product of pro-aging? Perhaps, it is not well-known because people find it silly to ask a saleslady if they sell an item promising its customers that they will look older. If nothing has been made, Olay or Dove should probably make a solution. I just like the companies of health and beauty and dermatologists to know that there are clients like me who need to be addressed.
I do not seem to understand why many people want to look young. In my life, there are more disadvantages than advantages of looking young. It has often been debated that age does not matter. My stand is that real age does not matter but perceived age does matter.
Recently, I had almost argued to a lady security guard at the airport. Before I entered, she asked how old I was. There was a short pause as if she were evaluating if what I said was true. Then I called out my sister who was waiting for me to say my final goodbye. My sister confirmed with a laugh that I was definitely twenty something. The security guard smiled and said, “ It’s not obvious.” (Too late, I was already humiliated.)
This is not the first time that my age was questionable for traveling. There was a time when I had to accompany my nieces to Cebu. We spent a night at the barge. Some passengers were surprised that we were traveling alone without any other adults. To come to think of it, I was already of legal age. Even today, I still notice ticketing officers, strangers at the seaport, cabin crew, taxi drivers doubting my real age. They may not speak out loud but I know that they are studying how I look.
I really have a problem of my age appearance. I can not watch an R-18 movie freely without the movie theater’s personnel questioning my age. In moments like these, I feel like yelling to them and say, “I’m already a college student. And yes, I am not 18 years old. I am no longer 18 years old! ”
My perceived age has affected my way of living in big effects or in small effects. Young appearance is also equated to innocence. Whenever I am in the university, they think I am a freshie. I see some of my schoolmates are confused on calling me, “Ate.” I really don’t mind though. I get used to it and accept it as a compliment.
Now, I make sure I wear my glasses when I am riding a taxi all alone at night. I need it not only for my poor vision at night but also for my security. The taxi driver might think I am a lost child. The best protection is to pretend that I know where I am going and to look like an adult by wearing eyeglasses.
But my eyeglasses fail to hide my girly look. It can not reveal my age, either. Even if I wear slacks and business suit, I am still looking at a ten-year old girl playing her mother’s clothes in front of the mirror. I do not even think growing inches taller will help me look like a genuine adult. Maybe, it has something to do with my baby fats, my size or my face. Maybe everything in me makes me young. My actions? I can be very childish. But even if I sit silently in the corner, they will still think I am in my early teens.
It is better to look like a sweet ten-year-old girl than to look like an unattractive 22-year-old hag but it pays a price. A ten-year-old girl can not pass a job interview, can not travel by herself, can not watch ex-rated films without a chaperon, can not walk on the streets at night. So, if ever someone will find the fountain of youth, he should think again if he should sip the water coming from it or not.
who cares how long I have lived in this world?